Monday, July 21, 2008

Replies from my Craigslist 'Wedding Plus One' ad...

Since I have been deemed 'unsuitable' for Craigslist - below is a selection of the 'Best Of' replies.
(Keep in mind my post was removed within 6 hours of posting)

First, the serious ones...
(both seemed kinda sweet so I replied with no sarcasm)

"I am 6'2" and 180 with dark blonde hair and blue eyes and keep myself in good athletic shape for outdoor activities. I am easy going, open minded, passionate, and fun guy. I tend to be witty and a bit of a smart ass but all in good fun...."
................

"You know this is very funny but I really do need your services LOL............. but I do need a woman (Arm Candy) to go to a wedding. I am a........ Professional , my hobbies are going to the gym as well as hiking going to the beach, and traveling. I also like going to the wine country and going to sporting events. I live a healty lifestyle with great friends. I would like to get your pic as well and tell me a little about yourself.

Also how did you come up with this great idea?? Very smart points already LOL

Sincerely,"

.........................


Second, the rock star who actually got what I meant;

"NEVER LEAVE A CRASHER BEHIND! Thats rule number one if you want to crash wedding with me!

first: watch wedding crashes, Next watch wedding crashers Again and realize the Vince Vaughn is the single most Underrated actor of our time!

LOOK AT MY PIC: Im eating cake at a wedding for Christ sake. Look at my face. Am I faking it????? no I LOVE wedding I LOVE cake. I don't play with these things.

Do you know the old Mowtown song "Going to the chapel"? I swear to all that is good I cried a single tear the first time I heard that tune.

I dont actually have a wedding to attend :( hell I dont even know a friend getting married right now! But I Do love getting some drinks a a local dive bar!!!!!!!!!

K thats me I was just rambling Im 29 HWP and stuff is cool where it needs to be!

PS: your funny"

(My reply - dude, you rock. We should totally do drinks, cake, or both)
.................


Then there's the 'I'm so f'in hot and rich so why aren't you jumping all over me right now b#*^ch' replies;


"Hey, Won't need a wedding +1 until October, but I wanted to get your info so I can get in touch with you when the date is set..... would love to bring an asian lady to the wedding because my friend who is getting married is asian and some of the people there don't like white people, so it might give me some street cred.

I'm 34, in good shape, relatively successful, and too busy to find dates "normally" so I do what I can on CL.

Best wishes,
A"


(to which i reply - well honey, MY OWN street cred will be rolling in the gutter by hanging onto your arm. You're on your own there. Thank you and goodbye)

............
"Friday wedding in Texas.... anna kill some time... I'm asian 40, 5'7,
165#s, nice looking, intelligent, born in NY and have a few $$"


(I just deleted this one. No amount of words will do it justice)
..................

Then finally the 'I don't get out a lot' postings;

"HI AND HOW ARE YOU? I AM A FROM THE BAY AREA 5 FT 9 IN'S TALL 190 LBS MEDIUM BUILD NOT FAT NOT SKINNY IN BETWEEN; SHORT BLACK HAIR FADE CUT HAZEL BROWN EYES CLEAN FACIAL CUT OCCASSIONAL GOATEE FAIR COLORED SKIN NOT LIGHT NOT DARK IN BETWEEN.....

GUARANTEES:
I AM FUN TO BE AROUND!!!!! I AM ALWAYS RESPECTFUL OPEN MINDED AND BIG HEARTED KIND GENEROUS EASY GOING DISCREET AND VERY LOYAL!! SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?? PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND EMAIL ME BACK LETTING ME KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED!!

SO FAR YOU GOT A BRIEF INTRODUCTION AND NOW YOU GET MY PICTURES....

HERE ARE MY PICTURES....

DO YOU THINK I AM UGLY?????????"


(for the record this guy posted a photo of his ass, his willie and a face shot that could've doubled up as a mug shot. It was awful. Yet again, deleted)


Well to be perfectly honest - I am quite happy with my current situation. For once I met a male cat owner that's sane... by that I mean a guy, who owns a cat. Not a male cat... since I've got one of those already (Big Black Willie). Anyhow, this boy is in fact super quirky and has a wicked music taste. We're going away for a weekend together - with a group - *gasp* yes, that's right. We shall see how that goes down...

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