self esteem issues (possibly temporary)

I don't think I get PMS (famous last words right? ha) - but I know I do get more critical of things around that time of month. Or this time of month.

Last weekend... huge camping/ rafting trip with 15 others. About 50/50 with folks I kinda know vs. those I'm meeting for the first time. No one on this trip I can say I know well (besides maybe 1 or 2 people. In general it's hard to claim to know anyone 'well' when your existance in this country only started 2 years ago).

I usually don't have a problem with being in a crowd but I got very insecure over the weekend. At some points in time I was downright feeling I was left right out. Not saying either groups were alientating - they were absolutely not - but I felt like i was in no man's land because it is human nature to gravitate towards those they know best, and I didn't have that option.

As a firm believer of doing something for yourself - the solution of course was to make some new friends. Once again I counted on others too much and I really ought to have helped myself out of this ditch.

Don't get me wrong... had some awesome times on the weekend but would have done some things differently.