Bad coffee - retrieve!

So I read today that Starbucks might be bailing out of Australia altogether - I am upset to hear that there might be job losses, but silently I am screaming for joy that this coffee chain store - selling inferior coffee to the masses in bulk (have you seen the size of their containers!) - might retrieve and give independent coffee shops another chance.

Hooray.

Replies from my Craigslist 'Wedding Plus One' ad...

Since I have been deemed 'unsuitable' for Craigslist - below is a selection of the 'Best Of' replies.
(Keep in mind my post was removed within 6 hours of posting)

First, the serious ones...
(both seemed kinda sweet so I replied with no sarcasm)

"I am 6'2" and 180 with dark blonde hair and blue eyes and keep myself in good athletic shape for outdoor activities. I am easy going, open minded, passionate, and fun guy. I tend to be witty and a bit of a smart ass but all in good fun...."

................

"You know this is very funny but I really do need your services LOL............. but I do need a woman (Arm Candy) to go to a wedding. I am a........ Professional , my hobbies are going to the gym as well as hiking going to the beach, and traveling. I also like going to the wine country and going to sporting events. I live a healty lifestyle with great friends. I would like to get your pic as well and tell me a little about yourself.

Also how did you come up with this great idea?? Very smart points already LOL

Sincerely,"
.........................

Second, the rock star who actually got what I meant;

"NEVER LEAVE A CRASHER BEHIND! Thats rule number one if you want to crash wedding with me!

first: watch wedding crashes, Next watch wedding crashers Again and realize the Vince Vaughn is the single most Underrated actor of our time!

LOOK AT MY PIC: Im eating cake at a wedding for Christ sake. Look at my face. Am I faking it????? no I LOVE wedding I LOVE cake. I don't play with these things.

Do you know the old Mowtown song "Going to the chapel"? I swear to all that is good I cried a single tear the first time I heard that tune.

I dont actually have a wedding to attend :( hell I dont even know a friend getting married right now! But I Do love getting some drinks a a local dive bar!!!!!!!!!

K thats me I was just rambling Im 29 HWP and stuff is cool where it needs to be!

PS: your funny"

(My reply - dude, you rock. We should totally do drinks, cake, or both)

.................

Then there's the 'I'm so f'in hot and rich so why aren't you jumping all over me right now b#*^ch' replies;

"Hey, Won't need a wedding +1 until October, but I wanted to get your info so I can get in touch with you when the date is set..... would love to bring an asian lady to the wedding because my friend who is getting married is asian and some of the people there don't like white people, so it might give me some street cred.

I'm 34, in good shape, relatively successful, and too busy to find dates "normally" so I do what I can on CL.

Best wishes,
A"

(to which i reply - well honey, MY OWN street cred will be rolling in the gutter by hanging onto your arm. You're on your own there. Thank you and goodbye)

............
"Friday wedding in Texas.... anna kill some time... I'm asian 40, 5'7,
165#s, nice looking, intelligent, born in NY and have a few $$"

(I just deleted this one. No amount of words will do it justice)
..................

Then finally the 'I don't get out a lot' postings;

"HI AND HOW ARE YOU? I AM A FROM THE BAY AREA 5 FT 9 IN'S TALL 190 LBS MEDIUM BUILD NOT FAT NOT SKINNY IN BETWEEN; SHORT BLACK HAIR FADE CUT HAZEL BROWN EYES CLEAN FACIAL CUT OCCASSIONAL GOATEE FAIR COLORED SKIN NOT LIGHT NOT DARK IN BETWEEN.....

GUARANTEES:
I AM FUN TO BE AROUND!!!!! I AM ALWAYS RESPECTFUL OPEN MINDED AND BIG HEARTED KIND GENEROUS EASY GOING DISCREET AND VERY LOYAL!! SO WHAT DO YOU THINK?? PLEASE DO ME A FAVOR AND EMAIL ME BACK LETTING ME KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU WOULD BE INTERESTED!!

SO FAR YOU GOT A BRIEF INTRODUCTION AND NOW YOU GET MY PICTURES....

HERE ARE MY PICTURES....

DO YOU THINK I AM UGLY?????????"

(for the record this guy posted a photo of his ass, his willie and a face shot that could've doubled up as a mug shot. It was awful. Yet again, deleted)

Well to be perfectly honest - I am quite happy with my current situation. For once I met a male cat owner that's sane... by that I mean a guy, who owns a cat. Not a male cat... since I've got one of those already (Big Black Willie). Anyhow, this boy is in fact super quirky and has a wicked music taste. We're going away for a weekend together - with a group - *gasp* yes, that's right. We shall see how that goes down...

things I learnt from book club today...

That couples in long-term relationships actually have more sex than single folks.

Recent research in the US showed married couples do it once or twice a week... every week of the year. Whereas single folks, from a random survey amongst friends, are averaging 2 to 3 times per month (max).

One hypothesis I have is that for singles you need to find your lay before anything could happen. Whereas ppl in relationships... well, he/ she is just there!

So what does that mean? Maybe its time to get serious with this boy I have bee seeing for a few weeks...

Beneficial for both of us, for sure.

little Craigslist posting

I have had this idea for awhile... putting myself forward for an 'emergency date' for people going to weddings. So last Friday afternoon, since I had a little time, I wrote a note on Craigslist and posted it under 'casual encounters'. 

The ad has been well received - but CL didn't like it and pulled it down within 6 hours. Yikes!

Below is the offensive ad... and I honestly don't know what's so offensive about it.

Oh and I had 8 replies before it was flagged and removed.

----------------------------

So you RSVP'ed to a wedding months ago… you Plus One guest. Then in the following months the 'plus one' dissolved. Well OK, they didn't 'dissolve' literally. She ran off with another man, or a woman... or you had the world's biggest brawl and broke up (everything you own in the box to the left).

I realize sometimes it's hard to tell your high school buddies (whom you haven't seen for 15 years) that your lady left you for some butt ugly guy. So in order to avoid any embarrassing situations – or being asked 'where's your date' – I hereby offer myself the service of being your Plus One.

So who am I? I have fulfilled the role of '+1' for friends on 3 continents so far. I will do the chicken dance with the best of 'em… I will propose a moving and appropriate toast. I will even take intoxicated Mother of the Bride to the waiting car since she couldn't get there herself. Hey, I won't even bat an eyelid if you, my 'date', decide you want to pick up a bridesmaid for a one night only performance.

Does that mean I'm experience '+1'? Guess I am, whatever that means.

So what is included in your Plus One package?
- A well dressed, nice looking late-20s professional Asian female with wonderful table manners
- Intelligent and pleasant conversation, for you and with all wedding guests, in an Aussie accent
- Well orchestrated story of how we met/ why we became
- Overall a fun time hanging out with you and your buddies

What's not included?
- Wedding gift – hey its your invite, so you buy the gift
- Hooking up with you. Unless…

What you need to provide?
- Transport to the event
- The wedding invite, food + drink
- An email with your photo, saying when where etc

Thanks for reading – and have a great wedding season!

weather or not..

San Franciscans have no idea how to dress for warm weather. They're more accustomed to starring at coloured fog for 4th of July (yes, they shoot the fireworks into the fog)... or wearing a beanie in June.

Its not even 9am and its 14C already - high of 33C predicted today.

Here are two examples of what I saw on the bus (#3 in-bound, 8:30a);
- Chica, possibly mutton dressed as lamb. Electric blue knitted dress, sleeveless, about the length of a long top i.e. just over the crotch and not much further along. She teamed this outfit with gold and silver high wedges, strand of long pearls, red nail polish, huge shades and a peacock feather shaped hair clip holding back her long curly dirty blonde hair. And to top it off... a day-glo fluro pink shiny vinyl duffel bag.

- Hipster who lost her jeans... at least she's sane to leave the black tight denim behind. Wearing black short shorts (though there is no muscle tone in her legs), yellow top, grey jacket, pale yellow shoes, matching slouch handbag... good so far, right? here's the clinger... a red, white and blue polka dot head scarf wrapping all her hair up, African tribal style. I am quite sure she has hair under there... either that or there is a lot of scarf on her head.

I felt so straight.